"No way," thought I. In fact, when I put a pair of these on I turned and asked the stranger next to me, "What do I look like in these things?" "Ready to go barnstorming," he said.

I hate looking like a dork. I don’t even like it in private, let alone in public. With these on, you look like you’re ready to take your biplane for a spin.

But there’s a picture in the store of my friend Jurgen Zack with a pair of these on, so, hell, if they’re paying him some scratch the least I can do is throw thirty bucks into the kitty for my old German pal.

I decide to wear them during a product review swim for Aquaman Wetsuits. I’m out in the ocean and it’s about three to four feet, so I think I’ll body-surf a little.

Not only do these things immediately suction on perfect-like, they stay on. In fact, I never even adjusted the headstrap. They came off once during a particularly powerful wave. Next time, though, they stayed on throughout the ride. I railroaded the wave straight up to shore, until my nose dragged on the sand, and they didn’t leak a drop.

Perhaps they slow you down. I do not know. I didn’t test them for speed, although my guess is that if there is any additional drag it is minimal. Visibility is astounding, as one would expect. But the best thing about these things is how comfortable they are.

I have a rule: I don’t spend more than $3.95 retail for goggles. But I’m glad I popped for these; they are quite worth it. They appear to fit just about everybody. (My wife says I have beady, deep-set eyes, and I think I do, because I’m a notoriously difficult fit in goggles.)

I don’t know if I can wear them to the pool, though. No matter how well they fit, and how comfortable they are, and how good the visibility is, and regardless of the quality of the lenses, what price am I willing to pay to look like a dork? I haven’t yet decided.

My working assumption, though—which is by no means valid—is that I don’t otherwise look like a dork in my regular goggles. So perhaps I have nothing to lose.

You’ll find information about this product here.