Winterwear

Time to start back training—within the week more or less. Right? Actually I started already. It's my first Winter up here in sunny Valyermo and I've discovered experientially what I already knew cognitively: that it's sunny up here all right, and also frequently butt-cold in the year's short days (that is if you're riding; if you're running the temp is perfect).

I'm a wimp when it comes to being cold, and I strongly believe that there should be six warm things on every man, five of which are his nose, his ears and his hands. It ought not to cost a fortune, though, to stay cozy while afoot and on the bike. I shall describe how to do it on the cheap. But first I shall meander.

As I said, it gets fairly nippy in the AV. If you step southward off the crest of the ten-thousand foot peaks that separate L.A. from the desert, you're officially in the L.A. Basin. Step a foot toward the north, i.e., on the backside of the mountains, and you're in the Antelope Valley, a.k.a. the AV. Here in Valyermo we look down on the AV, in every way that term can be construed. It's fifteen hundred feet in elevation below us, and to call it a cultural wasteland doesn't begin to describe it. When the finest dining in a 300,000-person valley is the Outback Steakhouse, well, what can you say about a place like that?

As opposed to L.A., the AV is pure country. You will be exposed to country music here. "I like just about every kind of music," I would say to people who asked, "except country. My house is a no-twang zone." In the AV, though, you've got to ditch your radio entirely or you'll get inundated with country. Christian, Mexican, and country. Those are your options. This has nothing to do with Winter apparel, of course.

There are two things that you must remember. First, that good Winter cycling garb is also generally good Winter running garb. Don't be suckered into thinking that you have to buy separately for the two land-based sports. The Rag Trade doesn't want you to know this. (Speaking of Rag, Tim McGraw's Red Rag Top has a catchy little dobro riff, tricky to duplicate on the guitar—satisfying to play once you've got it down).

Secondly, it's layers, of course. These are the secrets: dual use apparel, and layers. The layers you'll need are:

• Wife-beater
• Hoity-toity running shirt
• Arm warmers
• Vest
• Cycling jersey
• Wind jacket
• Ear warmer
• Half shoe-covers
• Full shoe-covers
• Dog-petting gloves
• Winter gloves

In keeping with the theme of this white trash community in which I've become a member, the first critical Winter layer is the wife-beater, which I'm demonstrating in my best countrified white-trash style. If you pay more than $4 for your wife-beater you're getting ripped off. Sears, on sale, would be a good bet. Wife-beaters last more or less forever. Get a half-dozen of these and you're set for the rest of your age-group run. (Speaking of Run, George Strait's song of that title is rippin'). The wife-beater will help warm up your vital organs without overheating you.

Next up is arm warmers. These are cycling-specific, according to the norms in the apparel trade. Once I became a cyclist and got myself hip to cycling arm warmers, however, I realized how invaluable these can be to me as a runner. If I owned a running specialty shop I would certainly carry them. They're perfect for running in colder weather. The beauty of arm warmers is that you can just push them down your arm if you start to heat up, and if you then get cold again you can just move them right back up. The main thing about arm warmers is that they have to stay in place. I like the knitted ones sold by DeFeet, and I'm sure there are quite a few companies that sell arm warmers of this type. I don't much like the lycra arm warmers, or any models that require elastic grippers in order to stay in place. Those which stay put simply by virtue of their own form-fitting qualities are what you want.

Maybe it's me that's changed, maybe it's the genre, but I've been won over to country. Good picking music it is. Now, when I sit by the wood stove picking and grinning at night every song—the Neil Young, the Tom Petty, the Eagles—comes out "country" whether it started it's life that way or not. Anyway...

Next it's the vest. Just a wind-shell vest. Again, this is for running and cycling. Now, what's underneath the vest? Probably a wife-beater first, and then I sort of like the hoity-toity running shirts. They're either in the style of a t-shirt or perhaps like a sleeveless t-shirt (not a tank top, just a t-shirt without any sleeves). They're usually made of some sort of space-age fabric that was developed by NASA, and they wick, and I suppose they do fancy stuff like thermoregulate. They seem to work, quite frankly, and I use them both for running and if it's cold on the bike I'll put one under my cycling jersey as well. But these are often a tough sell for sports shops, and I'd probably bet they have to discount them during the Winter (they're considered a Spring/Summer item) at which time I'd pick a few up.

Finally, over all this (depending on the temperature and the activity) is the full-blown wind jacket, i.e., just like the vest except with full arms.

Below the waste it's tights, though I sort of like knicker tights for when it's only moderately cold. I'm no differentiator of tights when it comes to biking and running. I'll use the same tights for either. I just want to make sure that when I'm cycling the backs of the tights don't ride down. Now that I'm white trash you might think I'm happy to have the back of my trowsers ride down when I bend over, and perhaps that motif will grow on me as I further develop an AV style, but at present that's not the case. So I make sure my tights have a lot of upside on the backside.

My extremities are important to me. I've grown fond of my fingers and toes. Ears too. Starting from the top and working down, one critical accessory is the ear band. One maker is Turtle Fur (which I'm wearing at right), and another, slightly warmer product is the Neofleece headband from Seirus (normally $10, I found an etailer selling it for $7.90 as of this writing). Both these items are headbands with a little extra around the ears. This is the way to go when cycling, as you can keep your ears warm with your helmet still fitting on your head (if you wear a hat or cap all of a sudden your helmet's too small and that won't do).

I've purchased my favorite Winter cycling gloves in a variety of locales, and they've been branded as work gloves, and most recently I've found the exact same pair sold as dog-petting gloves. They're just basic cotton, with little rubber dimples all over them to add a little thermal protection, but even better to keep your hands from slipping off your handlebars. In their latter iteration (dog gloves) I found them at the 99-cent store. Otherwise, they're a buck or two more at Harbor Freight Tool.

For the feet, it's remarkable how often just the $14 half-shoe covers sold by my former company Quintana Roo will do the job. Yeah, we made fairly innovative bikes and wetsuits, but danged if the single best product we ever made—in terms of fixing the biggest problem encountered by the most folks—wasn't those half-booties. Those and our seat pads. If you need a bit more, then QR also makes a nifty full booty, and if you need even more, wear both at the same time. It's a nice modular system.

One more thing I'll add—more an element of strategy. We go up and down out here a lot, and what's appropriate to wear while cycling up a mountain isn't on the way down. So I'll go up with all the layers described minus the wind jacket, which is in my jersey pocket for the way down. Always have an additional layer for the way down. I'll also stuff a second ear band and second pair of gloves in the back pockets too, because those used on the way up will get wet. I might choose a slightly heartier pair of gloves for the way down (fleece-lined leather work gloves, purchased at the swap meet for $7).

I am of course only writing about me (I Wanna Talk About Me, by Toby Keith, is our theme song up here). Your results may vary. I must say, though, that as a real warm-blooded type if I can ride in 40- and 45-degree weather with the garb I describe, you'll probably find it okay as well. Certainly it would warm my cockles if you saw fit to choose Slowtwitch vests and wind jackets to keep your cockles warm too, but truly these are commodities and you ought to be able to find all these items for a few modest bucks. I'd be surprised if you can't outfit your entire self, with all the layers and accessories described, for under $150 tops. You'll just have to hunt around a bit.

Oh, and that sixth thing? Every man should also have a warm heart, of course. Just ask Lee Ann Womack.