Ironwidow

There are more than a dozen Ironman races worldwide, and the participation level is skyrocketing. People are seeking new personal challenges, and Hawaii seems to be alpha challenge.

I don't know if there is cause-and-effect here, but as a multi-sport coach I am running into more issues with athlete spouses than I used to. This is the case when both spouses race, and also when only one is a competitive triathlete. In either case adjustments must be made to accommodate everyone.

When spouses train for and compete in an Ironman it can be unique and fulfilling for both. Even though career and family commitments might mean the parties must train separately much of the time, there is plenty in the multisport lifestyle to share. Friction occurs, though, when that is ALL the sharing that goes on. Both need to be sensitive to sharing the OTHER stuff as well. Everybody gets tired. But duties that are mundane and routine still must get done.

When schedules do allow for training sessions to occur together, differing talent or fitness levels shouldn't be an impediment. You can always start the sessions together, and arrange meetings at different intervals. This works especially well for long bike rides or brick sessions. The quality of the workouts will in no way be sacrificed, but it will add a special bond between you and your mate. As a coach, I have found that couples who train together experience a friendly rivalry, but also exude admiration and support for the other. It is a healthy and unique bond which only serves to strengthen the relationships of the athletes I coach.

But there are pitfalls awaiting athletes who train long hours for long races. Chief among them is guilt. It's hard to do the miles as it is, without having to worry the entire time you're training about whether you should be out training at all. I don't know all the answers to this, but you might start by simply asking yourself the question: Are you feeling guilty for a good reason? If so, fix it. Reconfigure your schedule. Go to bed sooner and wake up earlier. Do whatever it takes. If you're feeling guilty, yet you feel -- in your heart of hearts -- that you ought not to be feeling this way, I'm not going to touch this with a ten-foot pole. You'll have to figure out for yourself what steps you should take. Whatever the root cause, and whether or not the guilt is deserved, it's a good idea to deal with it and get rid of it. Ongoing guilt is bad for athletes.

Then there's pride -- the bad kind -- and this sometimes crops up in two-athlete households, when one athlete is not meeting goals which have been self-established, while the other athlete is flourishing. If you're the one who'se flourishing, and you feel guilty about it, lose the guilt now. You're doing everything right and nothing wrong. If, on the other hand, you're the one who's got a little heartburn over your family member's success, have a heart-to-heart with yourself. This is your mate! (Or it's your father, or son, or whomever.)

To all Ironman athletes training all those hours on the road, trail and Computrainer: Your biggest fan and supporter is the one with whom you share your life and home. Remember him or her on race day as they share your special Ironman journey.