Anti-Competition

It would be usual and customary for people to write up their own anti-competition stories, and in fact Monty did just that for me. One thing about these tales, though, it's hard to keep them from sounding self-aggrandizing: "Then, after I climbed Everest, I parasailed over to K2, where my support team was waiting with my snowboard and a martini, shaken not stirred."

So I'll be writing about Monty's leap year decathlon, because it recounts a feat of physical strength and endurance certainly never to be repeated and, for obvious reasons which will become apparent, nearly impossible to independently verify.

Birthday sets are common. Who started them? I don't know. But the first time I ever heard the term Birthday Set was from Mark Montgomery. He's been doing them since the early 80s.

Monty's standard set was in the pool—his age times 100 meters on the 1:15 base. Most of the triathlon world would have a hard time doing two of those hundreds at that pace. Last year he swam 45 of them. Not in 1:15. Repeating on the 1:15. (I hate guys like that).

Monty's streak of birthday sets ends this year, what with health problems (entering middle age tends to temporarily trip us up). So I'll reprise the story of his most memorable birthday set, in which both Monty's 40th and his 10th were celebrated simultaneously (he's a leap-year baby).

"Having a major midlife crisis on my 40th," he admits, conspicuously avoiding mention of whether the crisis has passed, he set out to grossly overdo it, grouping activities and reps numerologically into 4s, 10s and 40s (leap age, real age, and the divisor of the two).

"I would take all the sports and fun things that I've done in my life," Monty writes, "and set up challenges to conquer, all in a 40-hour period leading up to the end of the leap year. It all happened, and was documented by two television camera crews. I invited many of my friends to join me in the different events."

Monty started the day with surfing—40 waves ridden with Paul Huddle—and this was the diciest in a way, because Mother Nature must oblige a surfer. Then it was off to the Carlsbad pool for the usual 40 by 100 meters on the 1:15. Those pulling Monty through the set included world triathlon champion Simon Lessing and another 10 or so pro triathletes.

Next came a trip to the San Diego Veledrome for a 40k team time trial with Jurgen Zack, John Howard, and Simon Lessing, finished in not much over 40 minutes.

Next was fours hours of sleep, and then into the ocean again for 4 miles of sea kayaking. After some food, drink and advil, it was to the track to run 40 quarters in 80 seconds with a 100-meter jog inbetween. That was a 10-mile set, paced by Kenny Souza, Scott Tinley, Paul Huddle, Jurgen Zack, and a half dozen others.

A few more Advil washed down with some Gatorade—this regimen of anti-inflammatories has since been repudiated—and, "I was off to the bowling alley. I bowled 40 games, averging 191. Inbetween games I did sets of 40 push ups and 40 sit ups, 10 sets each for 400 total."

Bowling requires a five-step running lunge, and Monty reports that this is not recommended after running a set of quarters. He did his bowling solo, but it was witnessed by Jeffrey Justice (former editor of Triathlete Magazine and is now in charge of high-end sales at Supergo's Oceanside store), who sat through the 6 1/2 hours that it took.

Why bowling? "I worked in a bowling alley as a kid and for five years bowled about 150 games a week."

Monty was now in the home stretch. Just one more physical event to do—bench press his body weight (160lbs then), 40 times in 4 minutes. "This actually turned out to be the hardest thing I did."

The last exercise to be completed required the help of his girlfriend, and was, he says, executed four times during the 40-hour stretch. "I did make it just under the wire." This is verifiable only by heresay testimonym, it is only fair to add.

Monty's final event was a party at which he drank 40 2oz. shots of Guinness, and ate 40 ribs in 40 minutes. Many who abandoned him during his 400s on the track compensated by helping him with his Guinness.

It seems appropos to commemorate this event now. As I write this Monty is on an airplane over the Pacific Ocean, heading toward fellow Slowtwitch columnist Scott Molina in New Zealand. His leap-year buddy is exactly four year younger, and while Monty is not currently able to reprise his set-for-the-ages, "I've been getting my Guinness arm in shape."