On a sunny and very hot June afternoon on the UCLA track in 1994 I was filming an educational video for Reebok, my sponsor at the time. To my delight, the filming was taking place during the training sessions of Jackie Joyner-Kersee with Bobby Kersee, her coach and husband. Gail Devers was practicing her starts for the hurdles with lightning speed and grace. Sandra Farmer-Patrick was stretching and talking with Jackie about their plans after track workout. Then out of nowhere came this bellowing command from coach Kersee for the talking to stop and for them to get their butts (fat asses, actually) over to where he was barking out commands to Gail over the hurdles.

Bobby gave his instructions to Sandra to begin her warm-up drills for the 200m, then told Jackie to run the turns of the 200m hard. I couldn't help but notice the look on Jackie's face as her husband barked out orders, the look of "I hear you, OK" but looking off in the distance, hearing but not really listening, a defiance which happens on occasion between coach and spouse. Yes, I recognized the look, the stance, in response to barked commands because I too was coached to a successful triathlon career by my husband, Dan Empfield, and am still coached by him today for running.

There is a special dynamic that exists when spouse coaches spouse. There is a fine line where the husband-wife relationship can extend past the boundary of boss-worker or coach-athlete. Learning to live & cope with the differences within this dynamic teaming is the key to a successful working and living relationship between husband-wife. If it works, there is no better team.

The advantages are numerous, ranging from the ability to visually gauge the athlete's recovery, to observing training sessions, to knowing the athlete's physiological, mental and spiritual capacity better than anybody else because you live with them day in/day out. However, you must know when to draw the line to keep the athlete-coach relationship. After the coach has barked out his last instruction of training for the day, the athlete and coach must again begin their relationship as husband-wife on equal terms, with equal say and the ability to voice their views and be heard. This can be the best working relationship and the most successful if both parties are willing to be flexible and forgiving.

If you decide to have your spouse coach you, here are some pointers to help make the relationship a lasting one:

• Work as a team--share your goals and share the opportunity for improvement.
• Listen to each other's opinion and allow both coach and athlete to voice their views equally.
• Don't take a poor workout or race result out on your coach (or spouse). Sit down shortly after the race and make a list of the pros and cons and decide what you would execute differently next time around.
• First look to yourself for the blame before lashing out at others.
• Don't bring your work home. Once the workout is over and the last set of instructions or command has been given let it rest. Don't bring training disagreements into your normal, everyday husband-wife relationship.
• Always know that your spouse has your best interests at heart.